OPEN DIARY; Entry 2

Today was a good day. First day of summer came through lit, literally. It was about 113 in the Valley in LA and I just could not. lol — I started my acting classes last week and it was amazing!! I’m so intrigued how it’s broken down in different methods to allow us actors to create a human being, a lot of times completely different from ourselves. I got assigned my first scene, and I met with my scene partner to go over the scene. We met at pan pacific park, this random little park near The Grove. Although, I think my scene partner is quite attractive, I had to remain professional. lol any who, we went over our lines for about 2 hours and after our next two meetings, I feel confident our scene is going to go very well on Wednesday.
When I got home later, I couldn’t help but to think about some of the things that had been said to me earlier that day and the previous day by a few people I know. I began to ask my self,
Why does it seem like people have more of an opinion on other people than they do for their own self? Lately, I’ve realized I have too many people around me that love to give their opinion on what I should be doing, what I should look like, who I should be, the list goes on. As I unconsciously allowed their thoughts to become my own, I noticed how I became very unhappy. I was living my life to please others and forgetting about what I ultimately wanted for myself. Now, I know I’ve spoke about this before, many times before, but it’s just something that apparently kept occurring. Once I noticed this trend, I dug a little deeper into why this kept happening. I realized the problem was from something in my childhood, and never resolved. It’s caused me to always feel the need to seek approval of others, not allowing me to understand that I am enough, just as I am. It’s caused me to be shy most of my life, and possibly miss out on opportunities that were in front of me. Now, I realized these things and it’s so easy to allow the past to continue to overshadow the future, by becoming a victim of my circumstances. But it’s so much more rewarding to work through all of the pain, the problems, the trials, and the obstacles. It’s a constant journey to always know your worth. Especially in these social media days where the expectations of people are unrealistic. People may continue to express their opinion about you, but understand that it’s okay to say no to people, it’s okay to hear them and let it go out the other ear if it is not beneficial to your growth and well being as a beautiful human being, even if they’re close friend or family. If it makes you happy(as long as it’s safe and does not harm you or anyone else), do it! Get out of your head and forget all of the negative things others have said!! None of it is true, nor does it matter!
I don’t have it all figured out but one thing I know for sure is that I need to be happy and the only way that will happen is by turning down the outside and turning up the inside a lot more.

3 Ways To Turn Down The Outside & Turn Up The Inside:

Meditate
Meditation is an incredible way to learn how to be more still, more in-tuned with your own thoughts, opinions, and ideas. I suggest Deepak Chopra & Oprah’s 21 day Meditations.

Pray
It really works when you believe. Have Faith.

Solo Dates
Take your self out, get to know yourself better. Learn what you want, and what you don’t want. It’s okay to do things alone. Sometimes it’s actually better, no one’s opinions but your own.

& Remember, you create your own happiness – So smile, happiness looks gorgeous on you.